You need to be brave, not fearful of change.
The only constant thing in life… is change. Ever think about that?
Because of this constant state of inconsistency we exist in, the sooner you accept and understand this, the better.
In life, change happens in a number of ways. Slowly and quickly, for better and for worse.
Here’s a quick rundown of some of the major changes I have experienced:
My family immigrated from Jamaica to Bloomfield, Connecticut when I was six years old.
I buried a loved one, I went off to college, and then I trained to become a Lieutenant in the Air Force. Once commissioned into the airforce, I left Connecticut and moved to California, I lived in North Dakota for 2 years and moved again to Maryland for a new assignment.
I ended a long-term relationship back in 2015, my parents were both diagnosed with cancer. I’ve lost friends, I’ve made new friends, and I became a Captain in the Air Force.
I separated from the military at the beginning of 2018.
Since then I’ve been working on my business, I got a new job, and I got fired from that job.
And I’ve been “unemployed” for months. But I quote that word because I don’t see it that way, I have been employed. Just not in the conventional sense.
My current job description reads: finding myself and handling my business.
A business that I can’t get fired from and actually have a say in how things work.
Life Is Full Of Crossroads – You Need To Be Brave, Not Fearful of Change
For the past 27 years, I’ve done a mixture of what I’ve been conditioned to do and what I have wanted to do. And I’m currently at a crossroads in life.
Do I continue to do what society expects of me (job, 9-5, 40 hrs/week etc.) or do I take the “risky” route that I truly desire to take?
I went to school, got the degrees, and accomplished what I dreamed of achieving at the time… joining the Air Force.
But as I approach my 30’s, these next few years are feeling critical. What I choose to do next will have a large impact on the rest of my life. And I’m feeling the pressure.
Even with my family and friends in my ear telling me to get the job and take the typical route, I’ve pivoted in the other direction.
And although it is scary some days, I feel invigorated by the changes to come.
Now that I’m focused on doing what I want, I find myself worrying less and less about what happens tomorrow. I’m confident everything that’s meant to be will fall into place as long as I keep on keeping on.
When I act and move towards what I want, the doubt disappears.
I have a new dream and passion. Blogging full-time.
I’ve become obsessed with writing and making this online platform. For me blogging, growing, and helping others is truly the life of service I know I’m meant to live.
Working on this new and meaningful dream, instead of clocking-in every morning for a job I have no interest in, excites me.
Changing For The Better
Over the past few months, I’ve grown so much as a person just by working hard on myself.
Even though I have both a bachelor’s degree and a master’s degree in healthcare, I’m totally down with taking on a minimum wage job to get by if necessary.
And you might be asking why?
The answer is this – I’m happy.
With everything I’ve been through in life thus far, I’ve learned to trust my own judgment over the opinions of others.
As long as my bills are paid, I have food to eat and I can do what I want, I’m happy. Blogging, growing personally, and working on my creative ideas brings me joy.
What about you, what makes you happy or what could make you happier?
Accept Change And Find Peace
You’ve also been through the gamut of life changes, I’m sure.
And I know when change occurs, we each have our own way of dealing with it. Some react to change negatively, some positively, and some choose to ignore change altogether.
In the past, I felt a lot of anxiety about change. Fear of the unknown would seep into my thoughts constantly. And sometimes I’d lay in bed, feeling low and helpless.
Nowadays I’m at peace.
I take things day by day. One step at a time, I stay focused on what I want and reverse engineer my life. When I keep busy, executing my goals and working on what I love, the stress and fear that comes with change seem to melt away.
Regardless of how YOU react, change remains a constant in life.
Our lives are changing. Whether we resist it or accept it.
Loved ones will die. Friendships will end. We’ll get fired. You’ll move. We’ll end relationships. So many unexpected and often difficult changes are bound to happen in all of our lives.
Change is life!
Without it you’d never learn how to drive a car, experience that first kiss or first heartbreak, move out on your own, get married, buy your first home or even have kids someday.
And with change comes growth.
Without that growth, you’d likely be unhappy and unfulfilled with your life. I guarantee you, without change, you’d be one bored SOB.
Remember… You Only Get One Life
Everything in life WILL change at some point.
And that’s ok… embrace the change, confront your fears and welcome the unknown.
If you’ve actively planned on changing something for the better in your life, know that chances are, you will face some resistance along the way.
This resistance might even come from those you love most – your family, friends, co-workers, etc.
Some will make you doubt yourself, fear taking on risks, and moving forward with the things you dream of doing most. You can’t worry about them. They are living for themselves.
Live life for you!
You are not doing anything wrong when you try to better yourself. It’s in these moments of great change that we must be brave.
The Comfort Zone
When faced with change, fear holds us back more often than not.
As humans, we love to maintain, existing in the most “normal” way for us.
Homeostasis is the tendency toward a stable state or equilibrium. This is where we like to stay.
This tendency toward regularity can be seen in our relationships, careers, habits and even our own DNA.
We stay in bad relationships out of comfort. We keep careers we hate to pay the bills and maintain our lifestyles. Drink the same coffee every morning and take the same commute. It feels comfortable.
Our very bodies are programmed to maintain, whether we are healthy or unhealthy. Whatever state we are in, the mechanisms of our bodies have a role to keep things regulated and unchanged.
Our fears of change go hand in hand with our fear of the unknown. We are comforted by consistency and predictability. Uncertainty is uncomfortable and anxiety-inducing.
And just like our bodies, if things are good we want it to stay that way. And even when things are bad, many of us simply accept the way things are instead of acting. So, we sit and ponder but never change or take action.
If this is you and you find it difficult to embrace change, you are more than likely sabotaging your own potential.
Maybe you’re even sacrificing your happiness and setting yourself up to live a miserable life.
But you gotta remember, you are powerful. You are in control and more than capable of changing your life.
Your biggest fear should not stop you from living the life you wanna live.
Starting now, accept that change is a part of life. Accept that you, and those around you, will change over and over again throughout this life. From now until the day you die.
Don’t settle in life. Do what you must to change for the better.
Try different things until you figure out what lights that fire within you. Disregard those who don’t support you, you’re strong enough to tackle anything on your own if need be.
We’ve only got one life, live it the way you see fit.
If you’re going through difficult changes or what feels like a rough chapter in life right now, I know you’ll make it to the other side.
And while I might not have gone through what you’re experiencing, I know we as humans are very strong. You cannot give up. Tomorrow could very well be the start of the best chapter of your life.
Persist in the face of obstacles, resistance, and negativity.
And while adapting to the changes you’ll face in the future won’t be easy, understand that it is the toughest moments that truly shape us.
Remember that big things might not happen overnight. That turtle didn’t win that race just for you to go and ignore his epic story.
Stop standing still and letting everything change around you.
The POWER is in your hands!
If you don’t like the way your life is going, you need to do something about it. It’s not just going to get better on its own.
Earlier, I mentioned some of the changes I’ve experienced so far in life. And looking back, I’m proud to know that I’ve grown tremendously as a result.
I appreciate this journey I’m on even more. Without change, I wouldn’t be the man I am today.
Time To Take Action
Look back at your life so far. Self-reflection can be hard. But eye-opening.
Visualize and write down all the large changes and trials you’ve gone through. Write down the silver lining of each.
After reflecting, I’m sure you’ll see for yourself that those changes have made you who you are. In both good and bad ways.
Now, think about some of the changes that you can make in your life today to become a better and happier you tomorrow.
Imagine yourself 10, 20, and 30 years from now…
Will the future you thank you for the changes you’re going to make?
You do not have to accept the way things are.
I understand you might have gone through or are currently experiencing disappointment, a breakup, depression, death, sickness or struggles of any kind. But, unfortunately, that is life.
Instead of just going through it, you must grow through it.
Overcoming, regardless of the hand you’ve been dealt is what’s going to make all the difference.
Once again, change is the only constant in life. So put on a brave face and let it happen.
There is an abundance of whatever it is you are looking for in this world. But to get it, you must take deliberate and meaningful action.
One Love! – Riley
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